“Emotional Nesting” – Can I make it a thing?

Around 6 months ago I read through (ok, halfway through) more than one book on holistic/integrative women’s health. (Recommendations available upon request!)  There were a few general takeaways that I immediately put into practice, but one idea mostly slipped by me and just popped back into my head today in a big way.  

Practitioners of holistic/integrative women’s health really work to teach and honor the cyclical nature of female hormones. (And thus tend to be opposed to hormonal birth control which “overrides” the cycle – but that’s a conversation for another time.)  Some put a particular emphasis on living in sync with our hormones, structuring our lives so we can tap into the different energies that come with hormone fluctuations pre-, during-, and post- period.

Cute, I thought at the time I was reading, but I’d just got a positive pregnancy test, and hey, the books didn’t even touch on hormones during pregnancy and breastfeeding. Perhaps I “honored” my first trimester fatigue more than I would have otherwise, but first trimester Covid made that more compelling as well.

Fast forward to right now. Baruch Hashem, bli ayin hara, I’m approaching my 3^rd trimester in an uncomplicated pregnancy, feeling great…. and weighty. 😉 After two “more troubled” pregnancies, my first 20 or so weeks were focused on keeping myself calm and positive. Now that Purim and Pesach and post-Pesach clean up are behind us, I’ve had the brain space to think about more than just survival. “I should write more often,” I tell myself a few times a week, “Or pull together a webinar or two. Maybe I should sign up for that new frum business coaching program.”

But wait. That’s totally not where my energy is pulling me. Instead, I’ve been “binging” on parenting and marriage webinars – in a good way! I’m finding them inspiring and uplifting and totally fulfilling. (It’s like being in seminary all over again, but better, because a) I can listen while drinking my coffee and whipped cream, and b) it’s REAL, and I’m a practical kinda gal.)

So, here I am (finally) writing about the lightbulb moment I had this morning. Hold the webinars. Hold the business coaching. Back to those practitioners of holistic and integrative women’s health and honoring the childbearing cycle.

Everyone knows about “the nesting instinct” – where women suddenly find themselves energetically cleaning and organizing their homes a few weeks or days before giving birth. (I’m definitely not there yet!)

I propose that we call what I’m experiencing “emotional nesting” – a really strong shift in focus from the external – “what can I give to the world” – to the internal – “what more can I give inside my family and home.” Now that I’m paying attention, the process is so in sync with this stage of pregnancy. Less conquering, more nurturing. It feels respectful to my body to move through life more slowly, to think about what I’m “feeding” my baby both physically and emotionally, to strengthen the “nest” I’m growing my flock in.  

Baruch Hashem. What an opportunity and a blessing. I’ve got to own it and run (stroll?) with it. I know that the time will come when I’m itching to push out those webinars and sign up for all the business coaching I can. For now, I think I’ll practice what I preach and respect what my body is telling me. 😊